Thursday, March 04, 2004

Author visit today. It was pretty good. I do not think I could write books. It is a lot of work and I run out of ideas in like the first three pages.
Wondering what will come of getting an advanced degree. What benefits will it bring. Right now it is a lot of work and it is difficult to see the benefits weighed against the costs. Wondering left me...
Ever wanted to lead the life of a superhero?
This rain is great!
I wish I could be profound sometimes. really deep. and not sound to goofy. Sometimes I think I keep a lot hidden from others in that way. I read something about the blog being a way to express a part of your self but it is just a part. Maybe that hidden manifestation of the self is reflected outward through this stream of consciencous writting. Putting down those things that drift through. pausing for a moment to be recorded but then moving on. Then we cast a net and catch those random clusters and sometimes nothing makes sense as it is out of the context of the whole. We are unable to grasp the whole it would seem because of the nature of this forum. But little bits leak out and spread and the waft and the warp begin to show the patterns and textures that make up who we are and what we believe.
What we believe at just that moment. That is a troubling thing. In writing down these things they become permenant even tho they are just bytes and ether. That writing fixes those words, emotions, thoughts, for eternity and for others. But know that it is just that, it is not permenant. it is changing and evolving and growing. The thoughts of two weeks ago are were influenced by a life time and those thoughts are influenced by the future thoughts as well. so our conclusions of before are no longer our conclusions because we have changed and that change should not have to hold us directly accountable for all of that. The change that occurs ensures, that unless we are rooted too deeply in a dogma, growth or perhaps regression. Grow today.

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