Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Okay, intimate moment. Here and now. I did not walk at the graduation ceremony. Many reasons I suppose but nothing outstanding. Granted I did not really want to celebrate such a difficult and mind numbing task but that is not really an excuse.
I have some kind of social insecurity. I do not like large gatherings of people brought together for a time of celebration and watching. It is not the crowds. I do not mind that. It seems to be the event. Graduations, weddings, funerals, something. I am not sure what.
In eighth grade I made honor society. There was a big event on evening. I told the counslor I did not want to attend and she said that I had to go. I told my folks I did not want to go and they made me. I never made honor society again throughout my high school career. There was something about that event that I protested. That is not the event that makes me to not want to do those kinds of things but it is the first event of that sort where I remember not wanting to attend.
Psychotherapy would be a solution but really the solution is not necessary. Do I want to change? Not really. Is that social dysfunction really all that dysfunctional? Is this character defect destructive? I wonder?

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