Sunday, December 31, 2006

Daily Meditation

The whole foundation of meditation is to make you so alert
that you can see the forming of seeds and desires and drop them. - Osho

The seeds of desire form and grow within us. How do we know these things early on? Once it is huge and controlling and a full force in life then I see it and want to be rid of it but it is too large to quell. Catch it as a seed. Find it early and let it go. I am ready.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Daily Meditation

The field of boundless emptiness
Is what exists from the very beginning.
You must purify, cure, grind down,
Or brush away all the tendencies
You have fabricated into apparent habits.
- Hongzhi Zhengjue (1091–1157)
To be fresh. empty of all of those things that we have picked up over time and made a part of ourselves. Those things we did not know where not who we are but those things that we now perceive as us. Those things of which we now need to let go of once again.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Daily Meditation

Lead a righteous life; lead not a base life. The righteous live happily both in this world and the next. - Buddha
How? One day. one step at a time. do that which you know to be right. It is not easy. How do you know? pray and meditate.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Daily Meditation

Spontaneity is being present in the present. Spontaneity by-passes the processes of the conceptual (aspect of) mind. Re-integration with Nature, which we are, is the recovery of spontaneity. - Why Lazurus Laughed by Wei Wu Wei
Right here right now. It is the moment. Happy and bliss are not necessary. We carry around the past and the past comes into our minds to remind us of where we have been, the joys and the loss. We carry the pain of the past and hold it here with us in the moment. Do we really want to let go? Can we let go? We make it through. We preserver. We grow and get better and heal but forever our scars we carry.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

daily Meditation:

Meditation is neither a religion nor a philosophy,
but a way of liberation.
It is the game of discovering who you are beneath the social masks.
It is said that prayer is the talking with god. Meditation is the listening to the answers.
How do you pray? More improtant is how do you listen? Meditate. Sit. be open to those things that come. Active meditation works too. Walking. breathing. movement. or stillness. just listen. quite the mind long enough to listen.
It is really not something to achieve. It is not a quest with an ending in the grail or enlightenment. It is the journey forward.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Daily Meditation

Driving produces a set of thoughts unique to the situation. It is great fun really. Almost no thought for a lot of this trip. the movement and the sounds did not bring up a lot. Certainly I am thinking as of late on relationships, intimacy, progress, and how.
Things typically just happen. Let them happen. Push? Pull? Suggest? Will? Do these things too but let it happen.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Coffee musings: thermos full of love. Great thermie. Miss warmth, miss tenderness,miss the healing grace of love. Open heart, open.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Coffee musings: sleep comes when the mind is finally at rest. In spiritual gatherings, concerts, horizontal. Coffee serves to fill the spaces in between.

Daily Meditation:

It is our earth, not yours or mine or his. We are meant to live on it, helping each other, not destroying each other. - J. Krishnamurti
Our earth. I think somewhere along the way confusion occurs. Dominion over the earth and all that is upon it. Caretakers. We are of the earth. Molded and shaped from the clay, spat upon and breathed upon by the creator to become human beings. Where did this connection go? The soil, the water, the air coming together within us. A part of our makeup. As a people we are just now remembering our connections to the world. We look around and see the pain in the world and that pain I think is reflected in ourselves. The cancers of the body are reflected from the cancers upon the earth. When the earth heals I believe the people will heal.
Speaking of healing, I need some acupuncture. My shoulder is sore.
Ready for some yoga. Commit to change. Ready to something. Anything and everything. Ready I hope. Positive. Doors closing, doors opening.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Daily Meditation:

Do not try to change circumstances or aim for a certain outcome.
Act according to the situation as it unfolds - that is all. - Zhuang Zi
It is the way it is. Acceptance of this is difficult. It is not the way I want it to be. It is not ideal. It is painful. It is... What is it that I can do about this? Fight it, push it, consume my thoughts and mind and body with strife against that immutable. Or accept. But if I fight it hard enough I will get my way. I will make it happen. That is really persuasive in our psyche. We can make it happen. We can make ourselves. We can achieve anything we put our minds too. Whereas this is true those things to achieve are in the natural movement of things. We achieve greater when we apply ourselves and our strengths and the help of others. These actions are set. It is right. Just as we apply strength and thought on other things and nothing seems to come of it. Putting forth right effort in wrong areas.
The stream carries us. We can fight the stream or flow with it. Enjoy the journey. Relax.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Coffee musings: beautiful people grace our lives and open closed places within our souls over beans ground with love.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Daily Meditation:

War can only be understood and put an end to if you and all those who are concerned very deeply with the survival of man, feel that you are utterly responsible for killing others. What will make you change? - J. Krishnamurti
War is hard. I am not sure why man goes to war. I believe war has been a part of man since time began. Power and control. Who has the power can it be retained. Is it up to us as individuals to speak out against that which we do not believe are we compliant. That is to say sins of omission.
When I do not do that is as much in the wrong as doing in the wrong. When I do not give thanks. When I do not express love. When I am consumed with me and do not turn to another to give comfort. Working on these things. Working to remove me from the process. Strive to become. It is not easy and I do not beat myself up. But I do try to learn from my mistakes and make corrections but many times can not live up to the expectations of others. not meeting those expectations I am not less then anymore.
How can I be that voice in the wilderness? How can I make my self known? How can I do the right thing in a world full of choices that are not right? From where do you get your strength? From where do you find solstice? From where do you renew? From where do you feed your soul?

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Daily Meditation:

To be silent and meditative is so ecstatic,
you will forget all about your search for meaning, truth, God.
And once you have dropped the wrong questions,
the wrong answers disappear of their own accord.
Then between you and existence there is no question,
there is no answer, but there is a communion.
Your heart slowly slowly starts beating in the same rhythm as the whole existence.
You start feeling yourself part of this immense organic whole.
You enjoy tremendously.

I found this one on another site. It is lovely I think.
Communion is the key. I think we have to stop asking. Stop seeking. It is clutter. I do not know what to ask for. There I things I desire that is for sure. Are those the right things for me at this time? I do not know. I am learning I can not ask for these things I have to wait and see. Do not push, do not force. Just allow everything to unfold as it is meant too and everything really will be taken care.
The heart beat and rhythm of the universe. There is a sound a frequency, a wavelength that allows the heart and mind and body and soul come together. to coalesce and rise. This wave is such a wonderful thing to catch. It is the goose bumps on your arms, the hair standing on the back of the neck. Eyes dilating and mind free of distraction if only for one brief moment.
Wonderous indeed.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Yahoo! 360° - Andy B's Profile

Yahoo! 360° - Andy B's Profile
I am trying to figure all of these sites out. The Yahoo!360 could be pretty neat. It seems like a lot of sites are doing more and more to make branding for the individual something special. We have our spaces on the net and our presence is known and yet.

Daily Meditation:

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. - Chuang Tse
And thus it is that way. I am both a butterfly and man. once wrapped in a cocoon protected from the world and confused. I have sprung forth and reside now free and beautiful. Wings spread for flight.
What is it. I have heard several people say that something is coming. There is an impending something; it is not doom or destruction, just something. I am wondering. There seems to really be a massive movement of peoples toward higher spiritual beliefs. People are reaching and grasping and communing in ways I was not aware of twenty years ago. It is like people are catching fire with the spirit and it spreads and grows and lights up our existence. Cosmic conscienceness abounds. It is like the candle sharing the flame. The love and light continues to grow.
You are right. We do not have time to be mean and cruel. We must hold each other up. We must raise ourselves. Loving kindness. Love and tolerance is our code. Share this with all you come in contact with daily.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Daily Meditation:

I am trying a new website for daily thoughts. We shall see how it goes...

Between the banks of pain and pleasure the river of life flows. It is only when the mind refuses to flow with life, and gets stuck at the banks, that it becomes a problem. -Manuel Hernandez

Good stuff. I have been stuck on the banks of the river of life from time to time. Flowing again. I flow with the stream and bump along. ride high in the water and on occasion bump the bottom and rise again. Then do cling to the side on the bank and stay stuck for a little while. Hopefully being freed to flow. The hedonism of youth. Stuck in pleasure, leading then to the other bank of pain. Almost a tributary of life that journey.
Little pieces of the bank are grabbed onto during the journey it seems. Maybe like the sand that gets in the shorts while swimming in the ocean. We carry along with us for a while pieces of pain and pleasure, in memories and scars. We carry them and let them go. forever these pieces are a part of the stream and flow with us and are of us but the clinging to those stones weight us down and impede the free flow. It is time. Drop the rock as they say. Free. Free at last. "Thank god almighty I am free at last." - Dr. King

Monday, December 11, 2006

Daily Meditation:

Reality alone exists - and that we are. All the rest is only a dream, a dream of the One Mind, which is our mind without the 'our'. Is it so hard to accept? Is it so difficult to assimilate and to live? - Why Lazurus Laughed by Wei Wu Wei
Dream, dream a little dream of me. Dream. We share our drams. We share our existence. The reality of life and the world in which we live may be different. At least we dream together and coexist. Touching the surface only. So if it is a dream of the mind then the mind must also be a dream? These are the questions with no answers. Just comfort in what we are willing to know and accept and do and how we are going to be. What works for you? What does not work?
Take bits and pieces. Take the whole. It is in everything for the answers. In bits the answers are not really there. part of a solution, part of a question, part of a question.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Coffee musings: being alone is little comfort. Missed moments shared and thoughts dismissed as folly. Miss loue and grace. Not sad but tragic.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Coffee Musings: the exstatic bliss of a cup of fresh hot coffee after a steak dinner can not be lessened.

Daily Meditation:

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. - Buddha
The candle that lights another grows brighter in the world. What a wonderful gift of being the spark for another. Hey Hey, My My. Share happiness. Misery never decreases by being shared either. Spread happiness or spread dispair. The choice is really pretty easy. I am going to be happiness and spread happiness and reflect happiness for all to see and be.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Daily Meditation:

There is no mystery whatever - only inability to perceive the obvious. 'All Else is Bondage; Non-Volitional Living' - Wei Wu Wei
There is no mystery. I heard this several years ago. Albert was talking and spoke of Wakan Tanka. The Great Mystery. That which we can not conceive. Albert said there is no mystery. many years later I am just starting to understand. The mystery creates a rift. The mystery creates a subjugation. It produces a situation of less then and lower. Everything is related. Each of us to one another. Us to this earth and everything upon it. We are related to the spirit and the creator. We are relatives and all one. When we relegate ourselves to a position of being less then we lose our self and those relations.
Because we do not understand something does not make it a mystery. It does not make us less then that which we do not understand. It just shows us we have not yet come to a place we can perceive. The mystery is not outside of us but it is within us. We do not know ourselves. We do not know us. We are afraid to be who it is really truly are and reflects in our disassociation with the world and all the possibilities. It is a cop out. We are not separate no matter what we have been taught.
I believe it changes the relationship with the creator when we approach the relationship without separation. We are the creator. We are of creation. The creator is us. I use the term creator here as a universal understanding of the nature of the universe and that of the godhead observed by man. I do not wish to offend so I therefore reserve right to wording in a vague manner. So we sit with the creator and creation and have amongst us all our relatives of creation. There is no mystery.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Daily Meditation:

Having found no self that is not other, The seeker must find that there is no other that is not self, So that in the absence of both other and self, There may be known the perfect peace, Of the presence of absolute absence. "The Tenth Man" by Wei Wu Wei
Hang on tight. if there is absolute absence then how can it have presence? with absence there is nothing. it if is not there it can not be there. Are we aware of the self? Are we aware of the other? There is no self, there is no other. without the self there can be no other just as without the other there can be no self. knowing the self and knowing the other leads to knowing there is neither. without the self and without the other there is nothing. In nothing there is peace.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Daily Meditation:

By becoming attached to names and forms, not realizing that they have no more basis than the activities of the mind itself, error rises and the way to emancipation is blocked. -Buddha
I am thinking I may have to find another site for the daily meditation as this one repeats often. Granted this is a good one to reflect upon again. Let it be. Things are as they are. People are who they are. The world operates as the world operates. Understanding is difficult and perhaps not attainable. It is in understanding that we try to control? Acceptance is not easy but it requires not our input or interpretation of the nature of things. We just go with it. No control.
So the computer is the computer but it is not the computer and we no longer see the computer. We interact with the computer as a tool and it does what we desire (some of the time) and we do not use it really beyond the capacity in which we need it to fulfill our daily activities. The computer tho is much greater and capable then the purposes for which we tap. So we begin to see the computer as an object fulfilling only a certain need. We have to take off the blinders and begin to look at it and our relationship to the computer differently. We have done the same thing, the same way for so very long it is difficult to break free.
I think that applies to other things in life as well. Our relationships with others have been the way they are for so long there is nothing different. The past has dictated how we view them and our interactions. What we remember and reactions and feelings dictate current interactions. Both have changed many times and the interactions do have the possibility of being different today. Willingness to change and to do things differently today. Holding onto the past and issues there can be detrimental. It can dictate a false set of expectations. It blocks us in effect from anything new. Granted many times nothing changes, there is no difference and the protections and guards we have in place so we do not get hurt or hurt another are important. These things where they can inhibit our progress in some situations also serve to lighten our load and give us comfort. At what point are we willing to let go of all those things within us?

Monday, December 04, 2006

Daily Meditation:

The sixth step of the Eightfold Path is Right Effort, meaning to abstain from all evil states of mind and to foster and maintain virtuous states of mind: compassion, pity, sympathy, calmness and tranquility.
Right effort is a might good thing. Do the right thing as Spike Lee would say. Foster the kind. I think empathy would be better then pity and sympathy. Outmoded words for a feeling of loving care for our world and fellow man. It is the goal of this season to become like the child of god we are. We are all god's children. Do we live in that fashion? Calmness and tranquility allow us to be at peace with all. It opens us to the possibilities. When we are disturbed and out of balance we are not able to focus on the care and love. It is necessary to enter the day, enter the moment with that calm. To walk forward with peace in our hearts and minds.
I think if our actions are based on thoughts and motivations that are pure our lives will become a reflection of that purity. The way we are to be and what it is we do and act become who we are. Changing our minds to be good and whole. Changing our actions too. Work in love.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Daily Mediation

By becoming attached to names and forms, not realising that they have no more basis than the activities of the mind itself, error rises and the way to emancipation is blocked. -Buddha
This is the seeing and the perceived. It is knowledge of things and not the reality of things. The perceived and the not seen. Interesting stuff. I am in wonder with the snow and sun these past days. It has been a blessing to have such a wonderful view with nature. Seeing the snow, the fog, the sunrise. Am I seeing those things right then in the moment. Being one of those. Right then with god. They exist because of me and I them.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

What you take in by visionary experience you must give out by love and intelligence in daily life. - Aldous Huxley
This is great. Peak experiences occur. They are what drives many of us to continue to seek and do the will of the creator. Those times of great vision are what makes the fulfillment of the journey. Even if it only once. That moment is everything. It is necessary for us to take that moment and apply to our daily lives. Take those lessons and share them every oppertunity. This is the why.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Daily Meditation:

What we know as 'life' is the analytical realization in the seriality of time of our eternal reality. - Why Lazurus Laughed by Wei Wu Wei
I think we have looked at this meditation before in the not so recent past. How does one transcend this so called life and the movement we make through our perceived time?
I am ready for the things to come. I am open to changes and evolution. I am waiting. Action to take? Let me know, God. I am in the process of seeking and doing your will. Make me an instrument of thy peace. Make me a hollow bone. Flow through me. Let my life touch and do and be for those around me. That is all I know I can do today.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Home Show Coming Soon!

From Home Show

Daily Meditation:

The seeker is the found, the found is the seeker - as soon as it is apperceived that there is no time. 'Posthumous Pieces' by Wei Wu Wei
I had to look up apperceived. It said something about knowing or perceiving based upon past experience. So first we come to realize that time does not exist. Like the movie Deja Vu. Time continues in a stream but everything has already happened, is happening, and will happen all at once and together. This reminds of when the student is ready the teacher will appear. Just as the student seeks (or more likely they have given up the seeking) so too does the teacher. Finding each other their seeking is fulfilled and known.
Wondering about the nature of enlightenment. I was reading the koans from yesterday. They refer often to enlightenment. Folks studying for years. A single act, a simple statement and they achieve enlightenment. Granted it is not something that can be understood. Enlightenment they say can not be explained. I think it is something that changes within a person and understanding of the self and the universe occurs. Why think on these things?
It has been a good few days. It is really generally very peaceful. I know there are things I desire and yet I do not feel a need to pursue. It is like giving up the chase. Just relax and let things happen. It is easy to get caught up in wanting and needing and seeking and doing. It overwhelms. I want, I need. We all do. It is in the letting go of those things that the mind quiets and calmness comes into living and peaceful resolve occurs.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Daily Meditation:

I have only one object in writing books: to demonstrate that there could not be anyone to do it. "The Tenth Man" by Wei Wu Wei
This is a strange meditation. I don't understand the context. My first inclination is to assuming he is saying that no one else could write what he has written. But then I think he is also saying that anyone could write it as they are universal truths known to everyone.
I do things that are uniquely me. My actions, my thoughts, my art. I can show others and teach what I know and those things become of that person. They know what I can. Preform actions similar to mine and yet create that from within them. In speaking the truth the sages say things that are known. Exposing a area previously unseen. Shining a light in a dark place to expose and enlighten.
The sages speak in a manner to be understood and also in a way not understood. The Buddhist koans. Understanding and yet confused.
I wonder now what it is that is to come. Knowing all is well and right with the world. No fear not anguish, no control. Free. It is waiting and preparing. Being ready again for life and living life fully in the meanwhile. Gaze outward. Gaze inward.
There is a peaceful calm really. It is like a burden has been lifted. The worry of not knowing is gone. Just acceptance of what ever to be is to be. I do hope this calm will last. It is pleasant. I can breathe easier. Removal of fear...

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Daily Meditation:

A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another. If these minds love one another the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden. But if these minds get out of harmony with one another it is like a storm that plays havoc with the garden. - Buddha
It is true. The holiday there was no storm. Expected storm. prepared for storm. Harmony occurred. In a peaceful place. one. relax. Removal from the fray of my own making in my mind.
Good stuff.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Daily Meditation:

What we appear to be is a fleeting shadow, a distorted and fragmentary reflection of what we all are when we no longer assume that we are that phenomenal appearance. "The Tenth Man" by Wei Wu Wei
a glimmer...blowing away the illusion. Parting the curtain as it were. There behind the curtain is the reality of who we are. Like that disembodied head of the Oz. Strip away the ego the largeness of who it is we think we are and there left just a man. Big talk of wondrous and frightening truths. Left with that which we can see and do and touch and taste and feel. Strip off the old.
Feeling just a little off. Sort of the holiday jitters. Something about the holiday season really gets me off kilter. There is the gathering of people. Expectations. Of course this year will be pie and brownies, and sweet stuff I am no longer partaking. Need to get some food to take on Thursday. Maybe some cheese. Mediteirian Deli tomorrow and some of that good ham. I think the expectations. I just have a difficult time trying to figure out what to say to people. It is not horrible. I enjoy seeing folks and eating and hanging out, but there is just some thing off. This is also the first year I am going alone in many years. This adds to the stress somehow.
It is all going to be alright. This I know.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Daily Meditation

There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth -- not going all the way, and not starting. - Buddha
The journey always begins with the first step. So they say. Who is they? If you do not take that first step there will be no progress along the route. One step then another and baby steps of Bob.
At which point does the journey end? Truth. We talk of truth. Truth hurts? Why should truth hurt? Why cause pain? If it is truth is should set up free should it not?
Too busy to process this today.
More to come...

Friday, November 17, 2006

Build a Workbench/Cart from Bed Frame Angle Iron

Build a Workbench/Cart from Bed Frame Angle Iron
Great project.

Daily Meditation:

It is less what one is that should matter, than what one is not. - Wei Wu Wei, "Fingers Pointing Towards the Moon"
I think that says what we are not is more important. Confusing. I think spiritual writers often are set upon confusion. If it sounds really cool and mystical and somewhat shrouded in mystery then it must be of a higher truth. Whereas I think sometimes the expression of the spirit can not be put into words and it makes it difficult to understand and translate into what we can comprehend. One of the gifts of the spiritual talking is to be able to say anything at all even contradictions and it makes perfect sense. Oh yes, I see. Correct. How insightful....(ten minutes later) what the heck did he just say?

Cool Site of the Day:

instructables : altoids clock
Now this is cool. Thanks dude, for the tip.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Daily Meditation:

This is the way of peace: "Overcome evil with good, falsehood with truth, and hatred with love." - Peace Pilgrim
Doesn't that sound easy. Oh yes, be good, be true, and love. There is really no greater mandate is there? All the saints, all the sages, all the prophets, all the children say love. Be truth, speak truth, seek truth. Even when bad is done we know the good, why is it so difficult then to act in goodness and mercy? Awareness of actions. Awareness of our actions upon others. All too often I act in accordance with myself. I act not in a way in accordance with the harmony of the universe. I act and give little thought to feelings or impact upon others. Stop now before action. Stop and give thought to the process. Stop and acknowledge the action and movement and impact. Make changes before the action. Slow down. Think. Act in accordance with the nature. The golden rule of which every culture is taught. My actions do not reflect that rule. But in slowing down, thinking, changing and then acting perhaps my actions can become the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Daily Meditation:

There is none dwelling in the house but God. When a man is awakened he melts and perishes. - Jalaluddin Rumi
Rumi is a really interested fellow. When I was on the road there was a group of folks at dead shows called the Spinners. Joseph was their "leader" and there was a structure and hierarchy to a group with no structure. They made patchwork dresses and sold them for cash and would travel to Guatemala twice a year for cloth and what not. I kicked around with them in Berkeley for a while. They had some land donated to the tribe in Philo CA. Stephen "earth dog" Temple took me up there in the summer of 91. It was a great place. Communal, they had a great room and a really nice temple. We would wake in the mornings and go to temple. We would great the day with chanting and then spinning. It was a nice time there in Philo. I could have stayed I think. The spinner took aspects of many religions and combined them into something of their own. It was a sort of blend of Rastafari, Krishna (Hindi), Sufism (thus the spinning in the nature of the Whirling Dervish), Deadheadism, some animism, and Christian influence as well. So the influence of Rumi was great in this sect of mad spinners from the dead tours. They had priests and prophets. I have not heard anything as of late about them. Come and go and touch our lives and leave impressions upon our souls.
When man awakens. We become one with the spirit. The spirit moves through us and in us and we are one with the spirit. The constraints of who we are dissipate and we are whole. maintaining that state of being seems to be the difficult part. Looking forward to a time of peace within. I think that when everything settles out all will be well in the world. I know this is not really true. Life continues and the struggles go on but there is a lessening of pressure. I am ready to have things completed. Ready to move forward. Seemingly stuck. Wonder still where it is I am supposed to be and do. It is like a massive alteration in life and what is to be.
letting go of the self. Like the pebble letting go of the bottom of the stream. letting go to float up and be taken by the current. remove the self and let the spirit carry us to where it is we are to be. Letting go and flowing on. forward, sometimes caught up in a whirlpool circling for a while to be tossed out and back into the flow. Ron said last night if you are coasting in this life then you are going downhill. I just think I am ready for direction and completion. Obviously not or I would be complete and where it is I need to be. And so it is when I am ready. The place is ready. The time is ready. All of those things ready. It will be to where it needs to be.
I guess it begs the question. What is it I want? And still I can not answer that question. I have ideas. I have notions. but I do not really know what it is I want. I see aspects of what I want in many things and yet the just perfect direction is not clear. If what I want has everything that goes along with it makes the change. I know I was somethings that I can not have. I know I want and desire and those will never be fulfilled.
Do they say to just give up looking. Stop seeking. It is then it will arrive? That is difficult to do. Certainly give up the need, give up holding on, give up the dream? If we give up the dream what then do we have?
Time to move on...


Heard today. We have survived the death of our first sun. What a great analogy.

Coffee Musings

Who ever said god does not have a sense of humor has not seen my life. It is a tragedy designed soley to crack up the Spirit.

Posted via cell phone, edited later via browser.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Daily Meditation:

It is important to recognize the power of our emotions--and to take responsibility for them by creating a light and positive atmosphere around ourselves. This attitude of joy that we create helps alleviate states of hopelessness, loneliness, and despair. Our relationships with others thus naturally improve, and little by little the whole of society becomes more positive and balanced. - Tarthang Tulku
Well so it seems the universe speaks loudly and i am nearly deaf. Thunderous voices, flaming arrows, 2x4's all combine to get my attention and oblivious am i. Create joy, create happiness, live today and fully today. These three are like horsemen the hopelessness, loneliness and despair are tragic. tragic. They spread and infiltrate. an underlying current. Overcome them with joy. overcome them with love and compassion. Everyone effected by those three and others when living in that negative space. It is time to get rid of the negative. Going through that process. Seeing the negative and its impact in my life and the lives of those I touch has been sobering.
Thank you for bareing with me.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Daily Meditation:

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. - Buddha
I think often times we believe what we hear. We take, for lack of a better word, it as gospel. Often we do not even run these things through our personal filters and mechanisms for knowing truth. Of course we have spoken of subjective truth and the dynamic nature of said truth. That which is right in the moment is not right in the future. I suppose that is the nature of the metaphor. What if it is not really a metaphor. What if it is a truthful situation and the tale is told the words are not understood and thus become a metaphor so we really do not have to understand what was being said or communicated. It is easier to say. Oh it is a metaphor instead of having to know what it truly means.
I say things all the time and then later I wonder what it is I said. People will say something I said and I do not even remember what it was I said. The context changes as well. Those things said in one situation do not apply to another and even in the same situation the words no longer apply the same way. It is like words are that flowing stream. It changes all the time. The words flow and change and evolve. Did you ever play that game where you say something and then the next person tells someone and then the next. How often does everything change? Does it ever come back correctly? We hear that often. Words we have spoken taken out of context or different meanings for the words we use. One technique used in counseling is to make a statement and have the other person repeat what was said or what they heard in order to assure the conveyance of ideas is accurate.
More to come... I hope if time allows.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Daily Meditation:

Play your part in the comedy, but don't identify yourself with your role! - Why Lazurus Laughed by Wei Wu Wei
How sad it is, I have been playing a part in a tragedy over the past few little whiles instead of playing in a comedy. Time to shift the focus. I am me. I am not a role. I am the whole of me always. Different situations call for different assets and aspects to be pronounced but it is still the whole of me in that situation. of course not knowing the self it is difficult to be. So the role is what we think others want us to be. Acting the way others expect us to act. Doing what we think society desires. Conforming to a ideal that can really never be achieved or assimilated into who it is we are. Yet, forced to behave in socially accepted ways. It can not be done. It is so very against my nature. Try as I might I fail.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Daily Meditations:

Destroy 'the ego', hound it, beat it, snub it, tell it where it gets off? Great fun, no doubt, but where is it? Must you not find it first? Isn't there a word about catching your goose before you can cook it? The great difficulty here is that there isn't one. - 'Posthumous Pieces' by Wei Wu Wei
There is no ego? There is no ego. There is us. Just us. The whole of who we are. There is no separation within ourselves of the Id, Ego, or SuperEgo. There is not diversion. There is our thoughts, feelings, actions, reactions. We are who we are. All else is mute. arguments and oppositions, didacticism and Socratic philosophies aside, we are simply us. And so it is thus that the struggle over the past few months has been for naught. Battling an ego that does not exist. Fighting against a nature. Fighting an enemy that is not really there. Doing battle in an arena where the only one to show is the self and the self locked to eliminate the self. A mirror image of the self locked swords. a vision of the Colosseum in Rome. Alone among all the seat. Standing in the dust. drawn and ready, heavy of breath and heavy in armor. waiting for the release of the lions. waiting for the arrival of a foe. Waiting for the arrival of the king and court and citizens ready to witness a battle. But alas always and forever alone even there where others are meant to be.
And so. like the dog chasing the tail. Round and round. round and round. Thank you for a real good time. The illusion of the self. illusion of the ego. It is fun. It gives us something to do. It allows us a diversion. We do not have to really change. We do not have to grow. We do not have to be any different then we ever have been. Why would we want too? Can we really make a change? Fundementally, at our base, is it possible to change who we are? Do we accept who and what we are, accept our true nature? We go on. We make progress and change in areas about ourselves. We do thinks differently today. We think before acting. We seek counsel before acting. We pray before acting. We seek. And now these things are different within us so our actions are different. But as we are differnet in aspects of ourselves are we really different at our core? Is my authentic self the same or has it evolved and grown or devolved and withered?

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Daily Meditation:

On the phenomenal plane we seek pleasure and the avoidance of pain. On the noumenal plane we know the absence of both - which is Bliss. - Why Lazurus Laughed by Wei Wu Wei
Phenomenal and Noumenal. Best I can tell is this is the physical and the spiritual. Existence in the physical world leads to living in that world and the seeking of. We seek out that which brings us pleasure. We seek out that which brings us pain. There is imbalance in seeking pleasure. It feels good. We want to repeat that feeling. Feeling good all the time. Seeking to repeat to hold onto that feeling. Seeking to remain in that start of feeling good. In avoiding pain we gain pleasure. But it seems that pain somehow feels good. Reminds us we are alive. The pain is like a touchstone. It is a way to keep in check too much feel good. Why do I seek out pain? why do I continue to put myself into situations where the outcome is only going to be painful. Growth comes from pain. The greatest touchstone to spiritual progress is pain. So that pleasure and pain, the human condition is based upon the mingling to the two. If only pleasure were sought. If only pain were sought. How can we eliminate the pain in our lives? How can we only nurture the positive and the caring and the love?
So on the noumenal we are freed from the seeking of either or both. We are no longer concerned by the way of the world and the pleasure/pain it brings about. It is this evolution to a higher state in that way that allows us to be free from the constraints of the world. It is in this freedom we long to stay.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Thinkature - About Thinkature

Thinkature - About Thinkature
Cool New site on the web for concept mapping and collaborative learning. Check it out.

Daily Meditation:

Live your life in happiness, owning nothing. Feed on happiness like lustrous gods. Be Happiness Itself. (Happiness, v200)
When we possess things are we gaining happiness? When we buy it feels good. I earned money, I worked diligently, I am worthy. I am entitled to buy something nice for myself, something I desire. Just as easy as it comes it also goes. I do have a beautiful new shirt hanging in my closet. It was worth the investment. It is a very handsome shirt. What did I give up for that shirt? What did I give up this morning and every morning for the past few years for that morning cuppa joe? What did I gain? On the morning cup of coffee there is more then coffee. It is conversation, friendships, connections. With the beautiful shirt there is self esteem in looking good, confidence in who I am. Now why should a shirt impart those things to the wearer, besides the fact of being a magic shirt woven by the handmaidens of Merlin.
Oh yes, and so. It once would be the monks would own nothing. Pursuit of the higher. Pursuit of the relationship with the spirit was the only thing. The monk would take his bowl and stand, if it were filled with rice by passers by he would eat. If it were empty he would not eat.
Looking on this day. Happiness is from within. Delving within. go past the pain. go past the fear. go past the daily. go past self. go past preconceived notions. go past the material. go past the constraints. go past lessons of the past. go past the (what are those things given to us by others?) those things. go past the ego. go past the instincts. go past the core. Sit with the one.
Feed on happiness. What was the most delicious meal to which you have sat to dine upon? Remember that feeling of pleasure? Pure goodness lain before us as bountiful feast. The food, the company, the smells, the sounds, the presence of spirit permeating the space. A higher place. Devouring happiness. consuming happiness to nurture the body and soul as good food also does. feast upon the marrow of life. The marrow. sucking the marrow from the bones. It is decadent. It is a flavor unlike any other. It is pure and good. It fills and body and soul. I long for that once again. I long for the purity. The connection. The comfort. The one.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Daily Meditation:

The only real service we can render to that which we perceive and interpret in phenomenal existence as 'others' is by awakening to universal consciousness ourselves. - Ask the Awakened by Wei Wu Wei
In walking with others it is a true delight to see the spirit move through them and in them and the way it touches their lives and the lives of those who they come in contact. It is a wonderment to witness. It is difficult to let go and be free. I can see this in others and I would like it in my life. I would like to have that spirit coming in and working and awareness and openness to this spirit. How does one prepare for the journey? How does one remain open to the spirit? How does one walk in the spirit in every day in every way?
More to come...

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Philosophicaly speaking it is entanglements of emotions within the psyche which leads 2 both destruction and reserection

Saturday, November 04, 2006


Well. I think think today of small deaths. Little things throughout life that lead to endings. Building up. Nearly unnoticed. No attention paid. Just a building of incidents and occurrences. Little bits of our selves cast off with these things. Small deaths inside. Until too late the whole has died. We did not even realize the empty husk that remained contained no life. How do we stop these things? How can we resurrect those parts of ourselves? Do we want to?

Friday, November 03, 2006

Going thru things

I have gotten most all my paperwork in order for going to the lawyer. I drug through all the boxes and files and what not and we will see what we have. Got me thinking about my online life as well. To what do I belong? What traces of me are left on the electronic superhighway? What have I cast out my window as so much garbage along this road? ( (

Google stuff
Associated Content
Yahoo! Glass
Handmade Glass
Art Glass Forum
Blog Oklahoma
truth laid bear

What other boards and sites?

Perhaps getting ready for all the personals sites soon...

Am I forgetting anything here? Links soon to follow?

Daily Meditation:

What do you have to do? Pack your bags, Go to the station without them, Catch the train, And leave your self behind. - Open Secret by Wei Wu Wei
We have repetition again. This is not a bad thing. Learning lessons. Once then again. and again. and again.
Did I relate the picking up of a lesson? Walking along (backward of course) at our feet we stumble across a stone. We pick up the stone. We examine the stone. We carry the stone with us for a while. We choose to drop the stone. We either drop it at our feet and continue walking. Or we throw the stone over our shoulder to be found again in the future. If we learn all we need from that stone we do not have to pick it up again. One can continue to pick up the same stone throughout their life if they do not want to learn all it is that stone has to teach.
It is said there are 16 lessons a person is to learn in their lifetime. One idea of returning to this place is that those lessons were not learned and need to be gone over again. Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. Repeating past behaviors and not changing present reactions/actions and outcomes.
It is like in glassblowing It is the same process over and over. Make the same mistake over and over. Unwilling to try something different not from fear or non-skill but from not knowing there is another way to go about it. There is you know. A different way. A way not known for us, different then we were trained and learned and know. A way that will lead to places unknown and there in lies the fear. A way that will allow us to be free and happy and joyous. A way that may not be better but is different. May lead to the same place or a whole new one. A way that may be worse, or may be better we know not. "If I knew the way, I would take you home." "That path is for your steps alone"
And such is it as. That desire to remove myself from this place. To go out into the world and have and just be and do. Why go away for this to occur. I think Gertrude Stein said something about never having to leave a place to see the world. She also would sit with her back to the window for not looking out. I think looking in was her way. Those things that flowed from her were the world seen and unseen and the world a reflection of being. All the people influenced by life and love and dreams and writing and art and being, and coffee, and buttons, and the weave of good cloth. What that has to do with anything I know not.
Ready for a nice evening upon the town. Suit pressed. Shoes not shined.
Peace. Remember all who wander are not lost.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Daily Mediation:

Once again... I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. - The Beatles
All together. Separate. It is difficult at times to be. To be with others. To be a part of. existing for so long as apart from. Never wanting to really be with others part of a group. always pleasant to be part of something. To be involved in the background of something greater then just the one but still separate and alone in the group. That separation did not seem to effect as there was always a place to go to be. A place of comfort and retreat. The fortress of solitude. Why do we have a fortress of solitude? What purpose served? Why out of balance was the fortress of solitude in my head and of my own making? To dwell in that place. That place of being alone. Preferred. But living in a world with others. Change. Do something different. Reach out and take part. Interacting with others in a meaningful way. Become, with others.
Yesterday a feeling on loneliness. Being with others can not fill that place even. Being and sharing and becoming with others and still lonely. It is internal. Would say uncomfortable with the self and thus so with others too. But feeling unfulfilled within. It is a longing. I really can't describe it. It is not mopey. It is not sorry for the self or less then. It is not a rain cloud over head. It is like standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, it is like sitting on a warm stone next to a pool of flowing water with the dappled sunlight through the trees and knowing. Not alone, that is not the thing. It is just lonely. It does not go away that feeling. It does lessen. The loneliness is dissipated and accepted but there.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Picasa Web Albums - Andrew Boatman

Picasa Web Albums - Andrew Boatman
Check out the picasa web albums if you have not yet. It is good for Mac's too so Chris will be happy.

Daily Meditation:

Reality is all-encompassing: the absolute nature is one. Although we may feel separate from the original uncreated reality - whether we call it 'God,' 'peak experience,' or 'enlightened mind' - through awareness we can contact this essential part of ourselves. - Tarthang Tulku
Separation from God occurs. We suffer. We doubt. We sacrifice. We elevate. We rise. We fall. The separation comes I think from ego. From within. Factors effect what we do, what we believe. We separate from the spirit for many reasons. It is often said that god did not abandon us we abandoned god. Awareness. Elimination of the ego. Letting go of ourselves and stepping into the river once again.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Daily Meditation for Tuesday:

What we know as 'life' is the analytical realization in the seriality of time of our eternal reality. - Why Lazurus Laughed by Wei Wu Wei
Time. It is about time to discuss it. What is time? How does it work? Why constrain ourselves with it? Everything that ever was and ever will be has already occurred in this very moment. This is one of the theories behind knowing and intuition. That the knowing occurs because the event has already occurred and the outcome is known. De ju vous. We have been here before. This has already happened. Of course the argument of free will and choice comes to play. Time and occurrence are really different then free will. We choose. We are guided. All that is, is to be; all that was will be. Really, we can not change it perhaps. Destiny is destiny. But then on occasion the insight arrives and we have a knowing as to what it is we are to do. We catch a glimpse of what is to be and we make a decision based upon an insight. Now the insight may be the future becoming known unto us. It could be the past experiences from which we have learned showing what has worked/not worked in the past and allows us at the present moment to act.
Our minds place things in order. Constrains the moment. Constrains our actions. The mind organizes and makes connections. Serial. One step then the next. One event then the next. Connected together by strands. The fates weaving the tapestry of our lives. For some reason I see time and movement much like a DNA strand. The double helix. A ladder going up and around. A ladder melding with the stars and the stuff of the universe. Like the Sliver Surfer riding the waves of the cosmos we are really riding the stream of time.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Daily Meditation for Monday:

Many thanks to family and friends who expressed and thought about that day. It was most pleasant. Thank you each and everyone.

Daily Meditation for Monday:
The online meditation was once again lacking...
Thinking today again of the varnish on our souls and psyches. Thinking of releasing the baggage, of not even picking up new baggage on our journeys. letting go. I like the varnish analogy. The idea of carrying baggage works. It is a seeable thing. It makes itself known on many levels. The idea of the varnish for me is more integrated. It is a covering. it is an application. it has substance. Where as our baggage is not really a part of us, the varnish that we have applied over time is a part of who we are.
Why do we get baggage as a graduation present? That is really a strange thing to give is it not? Why add to the baggage of the individual and say it is a gift when it is really a burden.
On coffee...
Coffee has come to mean more then coffee. It is a time to gather with friends and family. To sit and talk and share. Morning coffee is the crystallization of the dream of the day. All the things that are to be come together at coffee in the morning. Dictating the desires for the day. By mid afternoon the coffee is in and of itself a consuming. A french press full of black goodness. Throughout the evening blowing glass and drinking in the warmth and glow. Like the creative juices flowing forth. Wrap up the day once again at the coffee shop when possible. The best way to end the day would be a Cafe Con Panna. An all night coffee joint is in good order.
Thinking about people getting older. The friends of my folks are aging too. They are watching friends and relatives reach the end of their time on this earth. Mortality is creeping up. It must be a terrifying prospect.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Daily Meditation

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. - Buddha
Happiness shared is the greatest gift. I wish I was more full of happiness. I thank and praise all those good people who have brought to me the lights of their candles over past few days, weeks and months. Thank you for lighting my candle once again over and over as it has blown out upon the winds of dispair. Thank you for giving to me gifts which can never be repaid except also with friendship and kindness.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Daily Meditation Friday the 27th

The purpose of a fish trap is to catch fish, and when the fish are caught, the trap is forgotten. The purpose of a rabbit snare is to catch rabbits. When the rabbits are caught, the snare is forgotten. The purpose of words is to convey ideas. When the ideas are grasped, the words are forgotten. Where can I find a man who has forgotten words? He is the one I would like to talk to. -Chuang Tzu
Forgetting the words. It is the idea. It is the essence. Words change with time. Meanings of words change with the man. It is the idea of constructs and perceptions again and each has his and walking into the relationship of things and man those words as constructs corrupt the true conveyance of the message.
And so it is. Wrapped up in words we cloth ourselves in layers of words. Words to protect us and keep us safe and comfortable. We dress up in words to show the world a better side to ourselves. We present our words as we want to be seen not as we truly are. Even then the words that build up or tear down are not who we are but ways to get what we want. We protect ourselves with our words. We protect our hearts and minds and beliefs with our words. Soft and tender like the petal, sharp and pointed as the thorn. eventually dried and brittle tucked away or pressed in a book our words become. Always lingering in the air. Woven into the strands of life, a waft of words.
Seemly full of very bad analogies today am I.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

It is the way it is

Well. I would hate to say I am depressed but I am. I would hate to say I am mourning but I am. I would hate to say my entire spirit has been squashed and dried and wiped clean out but it has. And here I sit unable to even really do anything except be. I had to go get some yogurt as it is the only real sweet thing I allow myself to have any longer and I crave the comfort that only a pint of Ben and Jerry's Kitchen Sink can bring. How I long for the taste of sweet chocolate ice cream mixed with brownies and chocolate chip cookie dough. How I long for the comfort this old friend holds.
I am now 39. Not that it is a big deal age wise but I find myself asking where I am at...granted the course my life has taken is not what I planned. All of it in fact is different then I expected at this point. Surely I knew a long time ago I would not be alive to see this day. So alive and thinking and free, fit in most aspects of life it is fantastic. Mourning the loses of what I had and mourning the things I do not have again and perhaps never will again. Mourning a love I will never know.

Daily Meditation:

The seeing of Truth cannot be dualistic (a 'thing' seen). It cannot be seen by a see-er, or via a see-er. There can only be a seeing which itself is Truth. 'All Else is Bondage; Non-Volitional Living' - Wei Wu Wei
Seeing dualism. by my understanding when we see a thing we take in that thing with preconceive notions. What it is what it means what it does what it looks like its actions and reactions. We see this thing with constructs in our mind of the way it is or the way it should be and therefore we do not really see the thing any longer as it truly is but as we want to see it. This happens with objects and with peoples I think. We begin to see others based on perceptions and interactions and we apply interactions with others in situations. So where as we do not really know a person we see them as we want to see them and color all interactions with them according to not that person but to others. So we see these things and we are not really seeing them. They are there but our mind has already made them into an object. We must begin to see with different eyes. Wondering too now if we also view ourselves in this manner. That which I truly am I do not know. I have become something other then how I know myself and the self that I know and the self I present to the world are two different selves and the self that is the self in spirit is not the self that is the self in the world and the self that is the self with others is not the self that is the self with other others. and so the one true self that is who we are all of us as one has not existed in a very long time and that true one self is the self now being sought for life and living and love. the authentic self.
Consumed today by other thoughts so it is a bit short...

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Daily Meditation:

From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere... If you never did, you should. These things are fun and fun is good. - Dr. Seuss, One Fish two fish red fish blue fish, 1960
Fun is good. Rarely partake in the fun have I. "moments of levity actually cause him pain; give him headaches. Happiness, for that gentleman, hurts" - garland greene.
Why do we continue to deny ourselves? Why block out those things which bring forth light and love? Why wallow in the muck and mire of our minds?
Mind filled with much today. Know that I am human. Know I make mistakes. Know I am cruel and malicious. Know I really do not know how to have a relationship with my fellow man. Know I am full of self and selfish motivation. Know I am really just not very nice and only present myself in that way to the outside world.
Know now that I am changing. Striving to make changes in my life and in my heart and in my being. Know that I am seeking the light. Seeking the love. Seeking to transmogrify. Seeking. Ah yes, recall the words from the Prayer of St. Francis seek to love rather then be loved. My buddy James really enjoys that prayer and lives his life in accordance with it. Spiritual kindergarten. Baby steps. One day at a time... and the like.
And so the pain I have caused myself compares like nothing to the pain I have caused others. The empty twisting of my gut and the festering sores on my soul are but a fraction of the pain delivered to others by my vicious nature. Certainly not an excuse for my behavior. There is no excuse. Just absurdity of the self. And so once again I must let this go or be destroyed. Scrap off this layer of pain and repair the damage before it has time to set and can then never be forgiven.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Daily Meditation for Tuesday

Live your life in happiness, even though those around you lead lives which are unhealthy, and wish to spread their illness to you. Be Happiness itself. - Buddha
Happiness once again. Be happiness. I do hope I am not one who is unhealthy and spreading malaise to others. Somehow I suspect that to be true at times. My soul sickness is destructive and corrosive and attributes to suffering of others in contact with me. But know that I am also striving toward healing and blessing. In this way of healing I will be ready to help and assist my fellows. To those who have endured my non-happiness over the past few months I do apologize for the pain and suffering to which I have contributed. I do not think people will to spread the illness of this sort to others. Granted they say misery loves company. Are those in misery attracted to the like or does that misery get transferred over time and the misery of one effects the lives of everyone else. Just the same then is true for if we live in happiness and light that is transferred over into the lives of all those we touch. So let it be known and I hereby declare I am living for light and love and happiness. I am seeking peace within my heart and seeking peace from my surrounds and the universe. I am walking in happiness and light today and everyday. The glum ejore is no longer. Light and love. Peace and Happiness.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Daily Meditation...

Thinking now on many things. The daily meditation online refers to practice of any principles leads to a place of understanding. I know this is true it is in practice that we develop relationships. without doing relationships are strained. Action must be taken at least on occasion to maintain a contact or not. That is when we do not actively make contact with the spirit it is easier and easier to not make contact. In not making contact it is easier and easier to not act. Slowly we forget to make contact and just let it linger by the wayside and then we begin to wither spiritually and we are not even aware we are not in contact any longer.
Comparison today is like that of stripping varnish and layers off furniture. I am thinking that all the feelings, all the emotions, all the thoughts, all the actions, all the results build up over time. Painting in colors and clears. Layering the events of our lives upon our psyche. Sixth grade break-ups, Senior prom, college, life, love, leaving, pain, fears, joy all our events adding up. Creating a work of art and beauty, creating us as we are today and who we will become. Each contact a new layer, each experience even creating a new color. Sometimes the surface cracks and weathers and we cover over the cracks and chips not taking the time to fill them with putty and heal them with loving care.
Thinking now it may be time to begin stripping off those layers. Strip the experiences not from memory and time and who we are but strip them from our psyche. Strip them in order to approach a new beginning. Strip to the bare wood of our souls and begin fresh within ourselves. Time and care to remove the preconceived, to remove the pain, to remove the prejudice, to remove those things which hold us back.
*Reminding me now... In love, in a relationship - do you give all of yourself? Do you give all of yourself and more? If you give all of yourself and more, what is the more and from where does it come? (discuss...)*
Wondering what the bare wood of my soul will even look like. Wondering if this metaphor (analogy?) is even appropriate or apt for this situation. Wondering. I am adding new layers before I have even cleaned up the last. Maybe in adding these layers I am healing also those from the past.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

daily meditation

I will be out of town for few days. Check back soon if you are a regular reader.

To gain that worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else. - Bernadette Devlin
I was told you must be willing to give up the thing you love the most. What is that thing you love the most? me
Nearly impossible to do it seems.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Daily Meditation for Tuesday:

It is fairly obvious that most of us are confused intellectually. We see that the so-called leaders in all departments of life have no complete answer to our various questions and problems. - J. Krishnamurti
I think this is my problem. I am confused. I think one thing one day and the next I have changed and think another thing. It is not that I am lying, or being deceitful, or even manipulative. It is just that new and different things have occurred and what I once thought no longer is complete and new different thoughts and attitudes have come into play. So whereas once even a few days ago something was the way it was that has since changed with me. So do please forgive me if what I have said in the past no longer is reflected in my present actions and thoughts. Hopefully it is progression instead of digression, however any movement today seems better then the stuckness of the past.
I need to move forward today. Take the next step. Do the next right thing. Creating lists. Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? What next? Needs? Wants? Desires? Expectations? For the Self? For the Other? From the Other? Willingness to change, willingness to become. Long ago the Phoenix. Rising from the ashes. The Phoenix a symbol of transformation. Burning the old self on the pyre giving rise to a new self. Once again. Transformation and regeneration. First thought today of the Phoenix. Not considered before a complete destruction of the self. Ego to strong and entrenched to allow a destruction. Ego to fragile to allow the self to be free. Transformation. Change. Rebirth. Where is the pyre? Where is the fire? Where is the catalyst? Bring forth. Symbology of change. Acts. What act is required to manifest the knowledge of change. What can be done to show to the world to the self that change has taken place. Ritual. Necessary. an act. a ceremony. We have not ceremony any longer? Create your own ceremony.
What do we manifest? Be open to possibility.
There is no one with complete answers. Just a glimpse, an idea. What has worked in the past, what may work. Factors unseen and unknown make it impossible to know and to act in full certainty. Our problems personally only answered through dedication and perseverance. Wanting and seeking the truth and acceptance of the answers when they come. Learning to act today in the right direction. It is possible to change. When we look toward others for the answers within ourselves we will never find the answer. We must look within. We can seek guidance and hear what others say but must know in the end it is us and only us with our relationship with the spirit with the answer.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Daily Meditation:

The online quote was not too good so I'll wing it.
On Possibilities - Life set forth on a path. Wandering through. Stopping now again to take in the wonders. Diverting now and again. Our old friend Cricket was fond of taking the scenic route as it were.
In walking through life picture walking backward. All of life we know and have experienced we can see. We are walking backward into the future because we can not see the future but on occasion we glance over our shoulders to gain of glimpse of what is to come. In walking backwards we see our lives.
Oh yes, the possibilities. They spread before us unseen. The What If's of the multiple universe theory. The possibilities that were once not possible to pursue are now possible. All the paths that once were closed and given no consideration can be considered and are lit brightly. Looking out into the past decisions made result. Friends and family touch our lives. Events and occurrences meld and shape the journey. Talking Heads said something like, how can you know where your going if you don't know where you've been. Looking out we can see where we have been. Knowing where we are going is the difficult part. Acceptance of those things to come.
Making a decision. It effects us and all things we do and the paths we will take in the future. I figure that with prayer, knowledge, contemplation, discussion, counsel, little haste, the decisions we make are right. They are correct. It is okay to decide. The horns the left, the right or get run over by the bull.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Daily Meditation:

Let us live gladly! Quite certainly we are free to do it. Perhaps it is our only freedom, but ours it is, and it is only phenomenally a freedom. 'Living free' is being 'as one is'. Can we not do it now? Indeed can we not-do-it? It is not even a 'doing': it is beyond doing and not-doing. It is being as-we-are. This is the only 'practice'. 'All Else is Bondage; Non-Volitional Living' - Wei Wu Wei
I do enjoy a repetition on the meditation inspiration. It reminds me. Live Gladly. Be happy. "Don't worry, every little thing's gonna be alright." There is almost too much information in that short meditation.
Free to be, free to be you and me. That was an old poem I think. Being as one is. Being the true self, the authentic self.
Discourse on Wants and Needs.
"you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need."
How does one know that what is wanted is really needed. That is if we ask for something we want how do we know that is in line with what the universe has planned for us and if it is really what is needed in our lives. I know what I want, what I desire. I do not know if it is what is supposed to be. It is just wait and see. Do the work necessary to be prepared and when the time comes simply be open to do the will of the creator. Must be willing.
In getting ready to go to South Dakota I am not real writty. today.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Biomes Blog

Biomes Blog

Daily Mediation for Wednesday:

While the Tathagata, in his teaching, constantly makes use of conceptions and ideas about them, disciples should keep in mind the unreality of all such conceptions and ideas. They should recall that the Tathagata, in making use of them in explaining the Dharma always uses them in the semblance of a raft that is of use only to cross a river. As the raft is of no further use after the river is crossed, it should be discarded. So these arbitrary conceptions of things and about things should be wholly given up as one attains enlightenment. -Buddha
Looking up the Tathagata it seems to be a state of the Buddha referring to himself in that which was been written. That is, he speaks presently upon past teachings and must refer to himself as giving those teachings as another person. Methinks the person he is today is not who he was yesterday and the teachings from today are different then the teachings of yesterday and the change in both the man and the teachings is reflected as different entities. Thus it is not a static message but ever evolving and growing.
There are things that take us there. To that place of knowing and knowledge and wisdom and enlightenment. It is when we cling onto those things those tools that we get caught up in something other then the enlightenment. The tools are the means not the ends and must be released. Holding on we are not able to "fully concede to our innermost selves". It is in the letting go we are free. Throughout time men are giving words as guidance, sign posts to follow along the way leading along the path to a way of being higher then that known before. Do not gather up the sign posts and strap them to your shoulders to carry along with the journey. Weighted down with what will become constraints we become tired and worn from a journey that should be light and free. The words become weights instead of feathers. Take the words as feathers and put them together to create wings. Use the wings of enlightenment to lift us up to the heavens. Oh yes, "The Zen Cat meditates knowingly, that there are also feathers on the word enlightenment."
I think this is key today. Thinking of self as a conduit. a hollow bone, a bridge-keeper. Helping peoples to the other side along journeys of knowledge. Strange then that being on one side of the bridge perhaps myself not having crossed but showing the way. The coffee cup of wisdom said today "Everyday is a leap of faith". It is the leap that allows us to cross. The journey begins with single step and that first step is really a leap of faith. Go forth into the world on this fine day and leap and bound in faith and love. Leap into the hearts of those you touch. Leap and fly upon your new found wings!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Daily Meditation for Tuesday:

The worst taint is ignorance. Destroy this one taint and become taintless. - Buddha
Indeed. Bliss perhaps. They tell us ignorance is bliss in order to pacify the masses. Ignorance of the law does not make breaking the law acceptable. Oh yes, what is a taint. It calls to mind a kind of surface paint or stain. A dark layer that coats the psyche. Ignorance is the stain put upon the bare wood of the soul. Time for some stripper. If I were a woodworker instead of a glassblower I am sure I would be able to continue the analogy without any trouble, as it is I am ignorant in the ways of wood.
That was funny.
Enlighten the mind. Read. Listen. Meditate. Pray. Seek. Act. There is no try. How to dispel ignorance? Think. Do. Who was it that said knowing that one does not know is really more important then knowing?
Keep up the good works.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Daily Meditation for Monday:

In this world the wise one holds onto confidence and wisdom. Those are the greatest treasures; all other riches are pushed aside. - Buddha
The material world is necessary. Food, clothing, shelter allow us to move up in the Bloom's Taxonomy. Taking care of the base needs for survival we are able to grow and change and evolve. The material world provides for us those necessities and also provides a desire for more. In our culture the pursuit of more is overpowering casting a shadow upon most of everything. More, bigger, better, never enough. There is always more. There comes a time when all of that is no longer the pursuit. Granted we still need and desire and want to live a live that is full and comfortable. Not many want to be out on the streets wanting for their rice bowl to filled by the comfort of strangers.
The wise holds onto wisdom. interesting. Confidence and wisdom. To know confidence. To know we are each capable of becoming what is desired. Confidence in who we are and where we are going and confidence in our relationships with ourselves, our families, our friends, our mentors, and the universal spirit. Confidence and faith seem to go hand and hand. Confidence and faith are connected in that confidence is a faith within ourselves and faith is a confidence in that higher power. Confidence in our actions and thoughts seems to gain strength and comfort when that faith in the spirit is nurtured and sought. Confidence in the self without the ego involved. The conceit and narcissism that comes from a confidence in the self that is not tempered with the faith. Lines are parallel and the results are similar but the lives touched and the impact of the actions are so much different when one glorifies the self and one glorifies the spirit of the universe.
The riches of the world are a glossy coating. Like a photograph that has lost its shine and luster over time the gathering of things around us does not keep us satisfied. The objects of desire on this day do not last. They fulfill us but for a moment. The desire is filled and then another object is sought to fill a desire. Maybe the desire that is sought is not for objects and things but is translated poorly in our minds and actions and the desire is really something needed to be connected to ourselves and others and spirit. It is perhaps a transference. Desire leads to suffering. Cessation of the desire.
Wisdom. Impossible to speak intelligently on wisdom when one has none. Wisdom of the ages and of the sages. Wisdom comes also from that faith that devotion. Wisdom to know the difference. Courage to change. again it is all about faith and confidence. I never really considered confidence in this light before. I think I am liking the new definition and outlook. Always before confidence was something I did not know I had. Lacking it not in the extreme but lacking it to a degree. No more.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Daily Meditation for Friday:

Nirvana is the utter extinction of all that is base in us, all that is vicious in us. Nirvana is not like the black, dead peace of the grave, but the living peace, the living happiness of a soul which is conscious of itself and conscious of having found its own abode in the heart of the Eternal. - Gandhi
Nirvana. We only know it as a band. We hear the word and think of it is the place of afterlife and once departed from this world we achieve that place of eternal bliss. I must be rid of the negative. I must cleanse myself of the thoughts and manifestations which hold me back. I must allow myself to be myself regardless of the conventions of society? It is not that I do not fit in this world I am just not sure how to be in the world. That may be it. I am not conscious of myself. I do not know myself, how if not knowing myself would it even be possible to share my life and existence with another. How can I be me without self knowledge? How can happiness follow, or come into my heart without preparation. So begs the question how does one go through life for nearly 39 years and not know the self? Have i always been unaware? Why did the awakening that took place in June also make known the unknown? Not knowing the self was not an issue. Wandering through life in bliss unawares. Why would an awakening of the spirit bring also this about. Perhaps I knew before but now I question? I have questioned in the past. Questioned my path and direction. Question my life and method of living. Question and accept? Oh yes, and change. I have not had to question in a long time. Just sitting and waiting and letting life occur. Questioning the presence. Questioning the ability. Questioning the necessity. Questioning the material. What is needed, what is desired, how to live and serve. Happiness in service to another. not serving another but serving the self? Removal of the self, the ego, from the process to be pure in the attitude. And so misery is a state of being reflecting only the desires that go unfulfilled. Happiness from the connection with the spirit, connection with others, and connection with the self. Release the desire. Release the unobtainable. Release that over which we have no control. Live life today in this moment.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Daily Meditation:

Past and Future are a duality of which Present is the reality. The now-moment alone is eternal and real. - Why Lazurus Laughed by Wei Wu Wei
The now. Current. The past is not real, the future is not real only this moment and it is eternal. The future is what gets me. It is the gig. What is to come about? What future pain will be endured? What pleasure will come? How is it possible? Living in the present looking always to the future state of what might be and lost then is the moment. Just so with the past. It is past. Gone. Hardly a memory as not much is remembered any longer. But the haunting of the past. Those incidences that return to mind and consume. The past as a specter of doom. Consumed by a thousand forms of fear. Current - Interesting. The river is the current. The stream from the spirit is also the current. Current, right now this moment. The same river twice because when we step out of the river we are stepping out of the current and into either the past or future. River current sweeping us along and carrying us to a destination of love. Let yourself go to be consumed and wrapped up in the current moment the stream of universe. Drifting in the current with faith.
Grace. I want to speak on grace. It for now is the word that resounds within my mind and speech. Walk in beauty and grace. Act with grace. Each movement we make filled with grace. The Grace of the spirit fills us and permeates our being. The grace. Tell me about grace. When action contains grace there is no self. "Full of hope, full of grace is the human race." I do hope there is more on grace to follow.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Daily Meditation:

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. - The Beatles
We each of us comes from dust and to dust we shall return. Regardless of culture, regardless of training, regardless of believe in the divine whatever occurs we come into this world and we depart from this world. Everything in-between is life and living and dying. Measure our existence in love. Create and give and grow in love. Foster love in your heart and soul and give to each a measure of love worthy of return. Is love pain? How can the love in the heart hurt so very much? Bitter. Like a strong pulled shot of double espresso that was roasted for a minute too long. Bitter.
My friend Ed lost his father this morning. They were all together on the Cape for a visit. Being an old man where better a place could one want to go and die. If you would please lift up Ed and his family today in your prayers. Greatness is not so much in deed. Father and son reconciled before death. Forgiveness on both parts.
Once in a dream, remember I do not know my dreams often. I saw a place a place of bright white lights streaming through darkness, traveling in space it seems. Coming together and coalescing. Great comfort in knowing this too was in that we are all one bound in a fabric of light. We all each of us has within a divine spark. Bright light within that shines forth. Let your light shine through your eyes, the windows to your soul.
Wondering. A day of wondering. Thought just now of suffering. The nature of suffering. The theory states that energy can not be created or destroyed. There is suffering in the world. the world has all the suffering it will ever have. We accept and take on the suffering of the world. In taking on the suffering, we alleviate and lessen the suffering of another. The law of the conservation of energy also states that energy can change forms. Therefore it seems that suffering can be transmuted into love and love into suffering.
Keep the peace of the divine in your heart today. Share it with all to whom you come in contact. Know the peace of happiness and joy and love.

What is a real man? Define. By society and self.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Daily Meditation:

The Void is not of the nature of a black abyss or a bottomless pit. Rather is its nature 'vast and expansive like space itself'. It is apprehended as 'serene, marvelous, all-pure, brilliant and all-inclusive'. Above all does it partake of the nature of light. And it is not anything. For Void is Mind Itself, and Mind Itself is Void. - Ask the Awakened by Wei Wu Wei
The void. at this time the void is like a hollow place in my stomach and heart. A vast expanse that heaves with the pain of a wound being left open. The void of the self and the knowledge that one day the void will be healed and whole again just for myself. And so we make the journey to the edge of the abyss and must take the leap of faith to jump. Standing at the precipice the light is bright and nothing else can be seen. Stepping off into darkness or stepping off into light we enter a place of faith within ourselves. Choosing in the past to take a leap of faith from the lions head...Choosing to trust in God. Choosing to walk guided by the spirit. Why then take back the walk, why recant?
The void of the universe. The void of the spirit. Filled with everything and filled with nothing. The void containing the essence of life. The void containing all of that which is impossible to define and control. The void which is understood at a base level. Knowledge of the void and its being truly innate. Like putting your hand in a flowing stream of pure crystal waters. Feeling the flow of the cool blood of the earth coursing. Knowing too that is the feeling of the spirit washing over and through every cell and fiber of being. Knowing the peace that comes from being at one. Why then is this so elusive. Why then do I not stay in that place and dwell in the comfort of the spirit all the time. why is it necessary to take back and destroy that connection? Why interrupt the flow. Building dams in the streams. Why block that which is natural and good and healing. Why accept the pain and suffering when the solution to the pain and suffering is so easy so right there so grand. One step. One baby step.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Daily Meditation:

Living should be perpetual and universal benediction. - Why Lazurus Laughed by Wei Wu Wei
I forgot this idea over the past week. Not really forgot but lacked full practice. I have spent a week in pain and depression. Spent time feeling sorry for myself and in pity for losses. People lost, pets lost, family lost, position and place lost. Set adrift without mooring. Forgetting the eternal bond to the spirit. Tied to the dock of the universe as it were. The ocean waves washing and trashing even close to port. Safe harbor of the lord. An appeal for help. Oh god I am in need of your healing touch. I am need of your guidance and care and grace. Give myself to you, all of me. I seek and do your will in my life today. Make be a vessel, a hollow bone. Work through me and in me this day. With every step with every breath allow me to remember to look toward you.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Daily Meditation

An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea. - Buddha
Into Action. I am ready for action. I have a concept. I have an idea. I have a place to be in the world and an ability to create. I have the equipment to outfit a glass studio. I need a place to outfit. I am learning who I am. I need to know where I am going. I keep thinking of the collective conscience and the 100th monkey.
The 100th monkey story... A monkey finds a sweet potato in the sand and eats it. It is dirty. Monkey figures out he can wash the potato in the stream to get the sand off of the potato. Another monkey sees this and mimics the behavior. Mothers teach their children monkeys how to wash potatoes before dining. Other groups of monkeys see this behavior and pattern after. Soon whole bands of monkeys are washing the potato. When the 100th monkey learns to wash the potato a tipping point on the collective conscience is reached and then every monkey instinctively knows how and does wash the potato before eating. Granted this is just a fable but it illustrates a possibility.
There are too many people with the same idea. An idea of a public access art center in Oklahoma City with a glass blowing studio as a cornerstone. That is the idea. How to make it a reality? How to put into action the creation and implementation of such a place.
There are many questions to be answered. There are questions of which I have not even yet thought. There are questions without answers. There are answers just waiting to be discovered.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Daily Meditation:

Therefore, be ye lamps unto yourselves, be a refuge to yourselves. Hold fast to Truth as a lamp; hold fast to the truth as a refuge. Look not for a refuge in anyone beside yourselves. And those, who shall be a lamp unto themselves, shall betake themselves to no external refuge, but holding fast to the Truth as their lamp, and holding fast to the Truth as their refuge, they shall reach the topmost height. - Buddha
Knowing truth, keep the truth. The lamp. What is a lamp? Bringing forth the light of love and peace and truth. The lamp not hidden away but shining bright from within. The lamp of the heart, of the soul. The lamp is a symbol of knowledge and truth and the light of the spirit. Across cultures the lamp is seen as a that which dispels darkness and ignorance. You are the truth, you hold the truth. It is up to each of us to be the holders of the light within ourselves and let our truth shine forth. The seeking of truth from another is not possible. The truth given by others is good. but one cannot take the truth of another and use it alone. That universal truth, the common grounding force but be taken in and assimilated into the being of the individual. That truth that comes from teachings but not remain written in a book and known in the mind. That truth must come out of the book and impressed upon the heart. In knowing and showing and fostering truth one becomes.
Reminds me of an old saying on the road. Oh ye Grateful Dead - Keepers of the Eternal Flame...Can I bum a light.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Daily Meditation:

This is the way of peace: "Overcome evil with good, falsehood with truth, and hatred with love." - Peace Pilgrim
Love, truth, good...peace. Overcome. Overcome. Walk in the way of peace. with each step forward into the world know the peace that comes from being in contact. Establish that contact often. Take no action without forming that contact. Bring forth your relationship with the spirit in everything you do. That being established, being felt, and being seen, go out. Go out into the world and walk in peace. How? Start with the above. Do good, praise good, foster good in yourself and others. Plant seeds of goodness wherever it is you go. Evil is easy. It is fast and sly. Evil is not known as evil until late. Evil cloaked in good. See through the veils that hid the underneath. See through deception. See through fear and anger, find the root. Evil is a harsh word. the evil in our hearts can be as small as self loathing. The evil in our minds as easy as self deception. The evil in our bodies in not taking care of ourselves. Evil creeps. To call it evil is painful but as you say truth hurts.
Knowing truth we overcome the lies. Telling ourselves lies and half truths. Contradictions. The things I thought two weeks ago are not the same as I think today. Taking care of myself two months ago and the protections and walls that were build can be taken down today. Truth is both changing and immutable. The truth that stands universal and the truth that we know for a moment. The river is the river and yet the river is a different river each time we step into it. Wants and needs balanced with truth and love.
Love overcomes all. Love of man, love of self, love of the spirit. There is no room anymore for hate. There is not room any more for anger. The pain and the anger must be cast aside once again. We have to clean out our hearts and minds and places inside where we keep our hate and associated feelings and thoughts. With nurturing love we will open up to the whole of ourselves once again to the possibilities.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Daily Mediation:

Honen Shonin taught people that it was enough to simply recite Nembutsu. He firmly believed that true Buddhism should be able to be practiced easily anywhere and at any time.
Whereas the base of this meditation does not sound inspiring it contains a truth on prayer and mediation. It can and should be practiced everywhere, all of the time. It is too easy for us I think to look at our time with God as separate from the rest of our day and our being. Let us take a moment in the morning to clear our heads and make ourselves known to the universe. Welcome into my life on this me to be of greatest service today...And then a moment at night upon our knees before bed. It is the in between that needs the walk with the spirit. And so we make that contact and the threads that connect us to that being thin and fray, they stretch and pull and at times yes are broken. The thing about that connection with the spirit of the universe is wondrous in that when that connection is severed it is easily reestablished with a simple act. Simple is the action. Difficult is the release of the ego, difficult is the becoming humble, difficult is letting go, difficult is belief. It is time child. It is time.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Daily Mediation:

...always try to be sincere and to be introspective. 3. We extend the circle of prayer help one another and try to contribute to the promotion of social purification as well as to peace and welfare.
I trimmed down the mediation today following the take what you like and leave the rest philosophy. Accepting everything as part and parcel as the whole it not always necessary. It is alright to hear something we like and integrate that into our philosophy and not pick up the whole. Granted there are some teachings that belong together as an entire grouping and philosophy and way the taking bits and pieces out of that cosmology is not fair to either the belief system or too ourselves as practishioners of those beliefs.
Pray for peace. Be peace. Change in the world comes first from change within ourselves. Prayer has the ability to transform. It transforms the heart and the soul. Often times we hear that when there is something wrong with the world and a situation that has gotten us upset that there is something also wrong with us. We hear that when someone has disturbed us. When we feel slighted or hurt or angry over another. That is the time we need to make prayers for them. Focus on them and pray for their health and help and that God may become known to that person and the grace fill them completely. And so in our anger and pain we reach outside of ourselves and pray for that from which our pain is cause and thusly we transform ourselves and our suffering to be joyful in another. I think in this way we build, we build ourselves and the positive in our hearts. We transform and purify ourselves. That place inside that has been building with anger and pain must be transmogrified. To maintain and feed that does damage mainly to ourselves but colors all the relationships we have with others. The color of that pain is reflected outward and touches others, touches our interactions and perceptions. Freeing ourselves allows all other relationships to flourish and grow in a loving manner the way chosen for us to live by the will of our creator. Heard yesterday - before I can pray for the health and help and healing of others it is necessary for me personally to be in a state of humility ready to be healed myself.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Daily Meditation:

It is our earth, not yours or mine or his. We are meant to live on it, helping each other, not destroying each other. - J. Krishnamurti
Our. We each of us, all of us joined together upon this spaceship we call earth. I do not remember the first time I heard the concept of Spaceship Earth. traveling in circles around a radiant sun. Warming our bodies and our souls. Joined together through a natural force that is unseen but uniting. It is really amazing when you think about it. What if the earth were like a part of us. Not separate. Not apart from. What if with every tree that was cut we felt the pain of the earth. What if with every furrow dug the scars upon the soil were transferred to our bodies and psyche. What if with filling the skies with the belching black gook so too were our lungs filled. Not really something that is possible or even considered but...
Our Earth. Together United in a journey upon this planet. Very separate from the earth. very separate from each other. Joining together. One and another. Blending. harmonizing. More people join together and their voices unite and become one. A force. Change can then occur. The whole 100th monkey thing. Critical mass occurs.
Helping each other. We build each other up, we do not tear each other down. We watch what we think and say in order to build up the people. Do not cast dispersions. It does not hurt the other only ourselves. Those words stick not to them but to ourselves. Reach out a helping hand on this day. Lift up our brothers and sisters and provide for them a caring heart. Even if only a whispered prayer on passing, it is enough to change and grow.
Destruction of the other is easy. People filled with fear. Fear and Hate. We do not understand the other and fear what we do not understand. Fear of losing what we have. Fear of ourselves and what we are capable of. How can we as a people, we as human beings transform that fear into love? How can each of us individually and as a race bring forth the shining light and embrace the world? I wish I knew.