I am thinking today that it is easier to not act. That is to say. I can do things that I feel are against my psychie, things that could (or could not be, who knows) destructive to my personal well being. Granted it could it could not. Effects unknown and unknowable. No harm or harm. It is easier to simply not act. Not that it really matters anyway.
I figured out last night that I am unlovable. That is not to say people don't love me because I know I am loved by others, friends and family. It is that thing about not being able to love another because we do not love ourselves. I think that may be one of many roots. I do not love myselft and therefore feel and have felt unworthy of the love of another.