Saturday, November 25, 2006

Daily Meditation:

A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another. If these minds love one another the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden. But if these minds get out of harmony with one another it is like a storm that plays havoc with the garden. - Buddha
It is true. The holiday there was no storm. Expected storm. prepared for storm. Harmony occurred. In a peaceful place. one. relax. Removal from the fray of my own making in my mind.
Good stuff.


Anonymous said...

And it is Sunday. Just back from Mom's, the trip with Suzy. I have told myself that this would be the Sunday that I would go to the Wedge. I can not do it. To go on Sunday without you.... I will go tomorrow, I promise. I just cannot go on Sunday without you and I do not want to go with anyone else. It just would not be the same. So here it is, the Sunday, you are beginning the journey today that this journey is all about. I will not call. I will not text. The point? not one. So I have decided to go back in time a bit. See where "the jouney" began. And here I am. That thanksgiving almost 2 years ago. I asked you once why you did what you did in the parking lot almost a year ago. you said it was something about a 'look in the eye'. I remeber Thanksgiving. Walking into the garage, you were sitting looking down, greetings were made by others who were with us, you looked up and straight at me, and the despondant lost look on your face transformed into the beautiful smile. I got a little knot in my stomach. I got a little tingly feeling and I felt like I was seeing you for the first time, and you the same. I knew something was up then...And the day went on. It was such fun. You kept touching my hand and speaking things with undertones that made me blush and made the knot in my stomach grow larger and tighter...Invited me to see the Amber Wind Society the following evening, but I was too nervous. I wanted to, but I was still shackled by the past and afraid of change. Still hate change, but I am improving. These are the things I am thinking of tonight. And the sound of your voice when we were children. I can not remember Zach's, but I remember struggled with your r's. I remember that I liked to hear you talk when we were kids. I still like to hear you talk. Even though you have been gone a month I am still thinking of your voice. And what you said to the back of my head, my sad little head, right before you left. 'All is good. In a peaceful place. one.' was I the one? tonight I will believe that yes, I was and am...
This jouney. has made me smile and laugh and grow and reach. I have embraced you, praised you, missed you, cursed you, picked the spot in the back yard where I will hide your body...and tonight I just miss you but am proud of you and happy for you and feel a peace and know that the full circle is coming complete. I also am going to say this: that is not a red circle on shoulder, it is my moon. You cannot deny it, silly. it is my moon rising and sitting on your shoulder, red, fiery...a once in a lifetime event. Happy Sunday, sir. Be renewed. Be happy. Remove the fray and make room for the good stuff. And maybe next Sunday I will make it to the Wedge in your honor, excuse me, our honor. "In your Honor" is a Foo Fightger albulm. My bad.

Anonymous said...

...I also remember when we were at the barn someone saying that the home owner had arrived at the house and Suzy and I looking at eachother and then swishing our way up the walk to the house and striking poses, and tossing our hair and our fabulousness about in the great act of defending and promoting your grace and wonderfulness to....well, because thats what Suzy and I, what good friends and family do. Protect and promote those we love. Me and had no idea what you were getting into, did you?...She began fighting for you that day, talked about you the whole way home... my, who know that day would set the pace for things to come? In case you did not know it, sir, she is one of your biggest supporters.