Thursday, November 09, 2006

Daily Meditations:

Destroy 'the ego', hound it, beat it, snub it, tell it where it gets off? Great fun, no doubt, but where is it? Must you not find it first? Isn't there a word about catching your goose before you can cook it? The great difficulty here is that there isn't one. - 'Posthumous Pieces' by Wei Wu Wei
There is no ego? There is no ego. There is us. Just us. The whole of who we are. There is no separation within ourselves of the Id, Ego, or SuperEgo. There is not diversion. There is our thoughts, feelings, actions, reactions. We are who we are. All else is mute. arguments and oppositions, didacticism and Socratic philosophies aside, we are simply us. And so it is thus that the struggle over the past few months has been for naught. Battling an ego that does not exist. Fighting against a nature. Fighting an enemy that is not really there. Doing battle in an arena where the only one to show is the self and the self locked to eliminate the self. A mirror image of the self locked swords. a vision of the Colosseum in Rome. Alone among all the seat. Standing in the dust. drawn and ready, heavy of breath and heavy in armor. waiting for the release of the lions. waiting for the arrival of a foe. Waiting for the arrival of the king and court and citizens ready to witness a battle. But alas always and forever alone even there where others are meant to be.
And so. like the dog chasing the tail. Round and round. round and round. Thank you for a real good time. The illusion of the self. illusion of the ego. It is fun. It gives us something to do. It allows us a diversion. We do not have to really change. We do not have to grow. We do not have to be any different then we ever have been. Why would we want too? Can we really make a change? Fundementally, at our base, is it possible to change who we are? Do we accept who and what we are, accept our true nature? We go on. We make progress and change in areas about ourselves. We do thinks differently today. We think before acting. We seek counsel before acting. We pray before acting. We seek. And now these things are different within us so our actions are different. But as we are differnet in aspects of ourselves are we really different at our core? Is my authentic self the same or has it evolved and grown or devolved and withered?

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