Saturday, November 04, 2006

Slowly

Well. I think think today of small deaths. Little things throughout life that lead to endings. Building up. Nearly unnoticed. No attention paid. Just a building of incidents and occurrences. Little bits of our selves cast off with these things. Small deaths inside. Until too late the whole has died. We did not even realize the empty husk that remained contained no life. How do we stop these things? How can we resurrect those parts of ourselves? Do we want to?
a

Friday, November 03, 2006

Going thru things

I have gotten most all my paperwork in order for going to the lawyer. I drug through all the boxes and files and what not and we will see what we have. Got me thinking about my online life as well. To what do I belong? What traces of me are left on the electronic superhighway? What have I cast out my window as so much garbage along this road?
aboatman.blogspot.com
bluesagestudios.blogspot.com
bluesagestudios.com
okccc.com
computercooks.com
oktechmasters.org/andyb (Archive.org)
theshop.net/aboatman (Archive.org

typepad
livejournal
frappr
flickr
myspace
xanga
picasaweb
Google stuff
Gmail
yahoo!
blogroll
Associated Content
Performancing
Craftweb
Yahoo! Glass
Handmade Glass
Art Glass Forum
OKCTalk
Upcoming.org
ma.gnolia
de.licious
Blog Oklahoma
truth laid bear

What other boards and sites?

Perhaps getting ready for all the personals sites soon...

Am I forgetting anything here? Links soon to follow?

Daily Meditation:

What do you have to do? Pack your bags, Go to the station without them, Catch the train, And leave your self behind. - Open Secret by Wei Wu Wei
We have repetition again. This is not a bad thing. Learning lessons. Once then again. and again. and again.
Did I relate the picking up of a lesson? Walking along (backward of course) at our feet we stumble across a stone. We pick up the stone. We examine the stone. We carry the stone with us for a while. We choose to drop the stone. We either drop it at our feet and continue walking. Or we throw the stone over our shoulder to be found again in the future. If we learn all we need from that stone we do not have to pick it up again. One can continue to pick up the same stone throughout their life if they do not want to learn all it is that stone has to teach.
It is said there are 16 lessons a person is to learn in their lifetime. One idea of returning to this place is that those lessons were not learned and need to be gone over again. Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. Repeating past behaviors and not changing present reactions/actions and outcomes.
It is like in glassblowing It is the same process over and over. Make the same mistake over and over. Unwilling to try something different not from fear or non-skill but from not knowing there is another way to go about it. There is you know. A different way. A way not known for us, different then we were trained and learned and know. A way that will lead to places unknown and there in lies the fear. A way that will allow us to be free and happy and joyous. A way that may not be better but is different. May lead to the same place or a whole new one. A way that may be worse, or may be better we know not. "If I knew the way, I would take you home." "That path is for your steps alone"
And such is it as. That desire to remove myself from this place. To go out into the world and have and just be and do. Why go away for this to occur. I think Gertrude Stein said something about never having to leave a place to see the world. She also would sit with her back to the window for not looking out. I think looking in was her way. Those things that flowed from her were the world seen and unseen and the world a reflection of being. All the people influenced by life and love and dreams and writing and art and being, and coffee, and buttons, and the weave of good cloth. What that has to do with anything I know not.
Ready for a nice evening upon the town. Suit pressed. Shoes not shined.
Peace. Remember all who wander are not lost.
AMB

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Daily Mediation:

Once again... I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. - The Beatles
All together. Separate. It is difficult at times to be. To be with others. To be a part of. existing for so long as apart from. Never wanting to really be with others part of a group. always pleasant to be part of something. To be involved in the background of something greater then just the one but still separate and alone in the group. That separation did not seem to effect as there was always a place to go to be. A place of comfort and retreat. The fortress of solitude. Why do we have a fortress of solitude? What purpose served? Why out of balance was the fortress of solitude in my head and of my own making? To dwell in that place. That place of being alone. Preferred. But living in a world with others. Change. Do something different. Reach out and take part. Interacting with others in a meaningful way. Become, with others.
Yesterday a feeling on loneliness. Being with others can not fill that place even. Being and sharing and becoming with others and still lonely. It is internal. Would say uncomfortable with the self and thus so with others too. But feeling unfulfilled within. It is a longing. I really can't describe it. It is not mopey. It is not sorry for the self or less then. It is not a rain cloud over head. It is like standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, it is like sitting on a warm stone next to a pool of flowing water with the dappled sunlight through the trees and knowing. Not alone, that is not the thing. It is just lonely. It does not go away that feeling. It does lessen. The loneliness is dissipated and accepted but there.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Picasa Web Albums - Andrew Boatman

Picasa Web Albums - Andrew Boatman
Check out the picasa web albums if you have not yet. It is good for Mac's too so Chris will be happy.

Daily Meditation:

Reality is all-encompassing: the absolute nature is one. Although we may feel separate from the original uncreated reality - whether we call it 'God,' 'peak experience,' or 'enlightened mind' - through awareness we can contact this essential part of ourselves. - Tarthang Tulku
Separation from God occurs. We suffer. We doubt. We sacrifice. We elevate. We rise. We fall. The separation comes I think from ego. From within. Factors effect what we do, what we believe. We separate from the spirit for many reasons. It is often said that god did not abandon us we abandoned god. Awareness. Elimination of the ego. Letting go of ourselves and stepping into the river once again.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Daily Meditation for Tuesday:

What we know as 'life' is the analytical realization in the seriality of time of our eternal reality. - Why Lazurus Laughed by Wei Wu Wei
Time. It is about time to discuss it. What is time? How does it work? Why constrain ourselves with it? Everything that ever was and ever will be has already occurred in this very moment. This is one of the theories behind knowing and intuition. That the knowing occurs because the event has already occurred and the outcome is known. De ju vous. We have been here before. This has already happened. Of course the argument of free will and choice comes to play. Time and occurrence are really different then free will. We choose. We are guided. All that is, is to be; all that was will be. Really, we can not change it perhaps. Destiny is destiny. But then on occasion the insight arrives and we have a knowing as to what it is we are to do. We catch a glimpse of what is to be and we make a decision based upon an insight. Now the insight may be the future becoming known unto us. It could be the past experiences from which we have learned showing what has worked/not worked in the past and allows us at the present moment to act.
Our minds place things in order. Constrains the moment. Constrains our actions. The mind organizes and makes connections. Serial. One step then the next. One event then the next. Connected together by strands. The fates weaving the tapestry of our lives. For some reason I see time and movement much like a DNA strand. The double helix. A ladder going up and around. A ladder melding with the stars and the stuff of the universe. Like the Sliver Surfer riding the waves of the cosmos we are really riding the stream of time.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Daily Meditation for Monday:

Many thanks to family and friends who expressed and thought about that day. It was most pleasant. Thank you each and everyone.

Daily Meditation for Monday:
The online meditation was once again lacking...
Thinking today again of the varnish on our souls and psyches. Thinking of releasing the baggage, of not even picking up new baggage on our journeys. letting go. I like the varnish analogy. The idea of carrying baggage works. It is a seeable thing. It makes itself known on many levels. The idea of the varnish for me is more integrated. It is a covering. it is an application. it has substance. Where as our baggage is not really a part of us, the varnish that we have applied over time is a part of who we are.
Why do we get baggage as a graduation present? That is really a strange thing to give is it not? Why add to the baggage of the individual and say it is a gift when it is really a burden.
On coffee...
Coffee has come to mean more then coffee. It is a time to gather with friends and family. To sit and talk and share. Morning coffee is the crystallization of the dream of the day. All the things that are to be come together at coffee in the morning. Dictating the desires for the day. By mid afternoon the coffee is in and of itself a consuming. A french press full of black goodness. Throughout the evening blowing glass and drinking in the warmth and glow. Like the creative juices flowing forth. Wrap up the day once again at the coffee shop when possible. The best way to end the day would be a Cafe Con Panna. An all night coffee joint is in good order.
Thinking about people getting older. The friends of my folks are aging too. They are watching friends and relatives reach the end of their time on this earth. Mortality is creeping up. It must be a terrifying prospect.