At this rate I will not find Nirvana. I am not disciplined. I rarely make a practice of meditation and prayer. I am not wise as I continue to make the same mistakes over and over and repeat patterns in my life that are self destructive and destructive to others. Peace seems to be an illusion created by the myth makers and dreamers seeking a state of being that will never occur in this world. Awareness, hah. Blindly stumbling through my days. Unaware of those things going on around and my thoughtless impact upon them.