loneliness

What lesson in loneliness? 

I wonder if Mara was lonely even when we were together. I led a life that made her alone. 

What do I have to learn?

No distractions from myself. And yet I still will not look within to the problem. 

operation meyham

So in looking at the news today with the antifa group being arrested in Portland by militarized agents input into unmarked cars what if they're doing that to themselves they're having them among themselves gathered up for the conspiracy part but it sure does feel a lot like operation mayhem has commenced and the fight club boys are going wild it's a strange sing the world in which we live

relationship

So relationship out of what drive Fidelity righteousness what what is the right thing to do do I wait find out what is the relationship for Maura and I and then waiting just be

Or is this time this not knowing do I just go out and seek and do and find and misbehave I don't know what the right word for would be because this is not a separation of my choosing but that's not right either because I brought about that separation through my actions laid the groundwork for that separation and lack of emotional availability lack of intimacy lack of trust fear so we haven't spoken as to fly north what we are I still feel a respect until the respect the respect that I have for the relationship and for her needs to be honored and accepted within me then I can decide which I would like to do how do I want to be and until we figure out what we are of course that's can change and mutable Italy right now is right now so that's it

easy wind

Swinging that shiny black steel Jack Hammer. 

Breaking up rocks for the great highway. 

Live five years if I take my time ballin that Jack and drinking that wine.

In the essence of suffering our daily existence what we experience as a human all those traits and wave being the word for it. So are suffering

So the great highway I'm drawn to that archway through which we pass a free man but there's another passage that talks about a highway the the rocks that's our wall and we're given spiritual tools to break down those walls that spiritual tool is that shiny black steel jackhammer