the case

https://www.instagram.com/p/CLV0Dp4n0zf/?igshid=1ijf3kp33u9qc

If this is the case why are there not thousands of Nickelodeon Teslas on the planet right now we're evolving into a higher species. We're coming to see and know ourselves and how the universe works. We're growing and evolving and becoming. It seems in the past we were and that got lost. And now we need to grow again. So on occasion people wake up to enlightenment. Maybe this is a strange curves. The

care

I won't do what I need to do in order to take care of myself. I've always had somebody to take care of me.

reality

Wondering why we invent systems of belief? To bring comfort. To explain what can not be explained. Every culture has and does. man's search for meaning...

The big universal questions. And answers come in moments... Maybe if at all. 

how am I doing

So this morning at breakfast Laura asked how I was doing. After pause I said I'm just doing okay no big deal everything's all right. And that's just not really the truth. That feeling of loneliness it's heavy and it's not pleasant just being alone is painful in a way. I'm just tired of being that way. Companionship something physical fantasies fulfilled who knows.

Stay the Course

What is the course? Where do I want to be compared to where I am now? Where am I now? Where do I want to be at retirement? What do I want my life to look like? 

Setting forth on the path is small steps. Movement forward and backwards and serpentine and straight. Choosing a direction and going with it. 

I think it is most difficult for me to imagine life as I would like it to be. What do I want in five years, seven years, twenty years...The idea of living in the present but preparing for the future. Seeking the balance to enjoy both. 

House: There is a desire to build a self sustaining garage apartment behind the house. Rent the house or the apartment. Is it worth the $40,000+/- investment in the property? Take out the existing garage and storage shed. Build out a garden and outdoor space. Fence between the neighbors. The house is in decent shape. It will need a new roof, new siding, and new AC unit in the next decade. 

Vehicle: The Tacoma has 260,000 miles on it and it is running well. How many more years? I put away $500 a month for a new car into a mutual fund. The subaru crosstrek or outback is top of the list or a new small truck. Being able to haul a trailer seems important. Think a fifth wheel Scamp would be my choice on a nice pull behind for camping.

Trips and vacations: I would really like to be able to go somewhere for three months at a time. Immerse into a place. The thought of living somewhere else is tempting but I do not want to be tied to a place I think.  I put $200 a month into a travel fund. I also deposit any oil royalty checks into the travel account. Annual trip to South Dakota with $200 going into an account for that purpose.

The studio: It is working. It is a lot of work. In seven years is it still going to be something I want to do on a daily basis. Can I find someone to be there full time? What is the cost/benefit ratio? It is not a money making proposition, in that we spend nearly everything we make. I save to purchase large items. I would have to find a way to make enough money each year to cover my expenses and the salary of someone else. The studio does cover a few personal monthly expenses; gas and electricity for the house and gas/repairs for the truck.

Accounts: There are studio and personal accounts.

Accounts	Balance Jan 2020
Citizens Personal Checking	$978.19
Citizens Personal Savings	$2,503.54
Citizens Truck Fund	$2,004.13
Citizen House Fund	$2,392.24
RCB Personal Checking	$1,439.88
Wells Fargo Checking (South Dakota)	$3,995.59
Wells Fargo Savings (South Dakota)	$1,476.29
HSBC Vacation Account	$5,435.63

Studio

Citizens BSS Checking	$7,820.64
Citizens BSS Savings	$10,177.15
RCB BSS	$18,825.15
RCB BSS Savings	$17,354.04

Investing: Besides retirement accounts there is a mutual fund for saving for a new vehicle. 

Vanguard VFIAX

$500 per month for Auto

$55,185.38

Retirement: With a fairly shallow investment pool I should be okay for a bit. Between teacher retirement (2027) and Social Security (2032?) and Safe Withdrawal things should be okay if everything goes well. 

Vanguard Roth IRA	$7000 per year	$97,513.53
Vanguard SIMPLE IRA through BSS	$824 per month	$87,457.40
Vanguard 403b	No deposits possible	$138,415.12

Income: Paycheck from school ($46931.92), three oil royalty checks (into Travel Account), studio pay goes into SIMPLE IRA account ($824/month). 

Expenses: Personal expenses and studio expenses. I spend a lot on dining as I eat out nearly every meal. There was a small remodel on the house with painting, new floors and plumbing work.

BSS Expenses	2020		Personal Expenses	2020
Art Festivals	$350.00
Bank Fee	$163.98		Bank Fees	40.53
Batch	$6,659.24		Cash	60
Cash	$120.00		clothing	1159.21
Color	$6,382.10		cpa	325
Consumable	$14,910.32		dentist	580
Dining	$84.61		Dining	13595.71
Donations	$102.20		entertainment	19.01
Gallery Fees	$300.00		gas	294.96
Gas	$849.18		Gift	1496.36
Gift	$510.93		Groceries	3131.17
H2O	$286.11		HBE	2394.67
Insurance	$2,237.32		House	13554.47
Internet Services (Google)	$288.00		Insurance	4459.64
Internet (phone)	$2,271.47		Memberships	30
Memberships	$303.63		Mobile Phone	1101
OGE	$11,555.85		Security	588.32
ONG	$3,243.60		Shipping AE	343.65
RJ - Contract	$10,950.00		taxes	1528.23
Refund	$320.00		therapy	1157
Rent	$10,200.00		Transfers - HHB	1840
Retirement	$9,888.00		Travel	88.94
RB sales	$120.00		truck	237.61
RM - Contract	$19,200.00		Utilities	898.06
Shipping	$172.12			48923.54
Storage RV (Sold)	$425.84
taxes	$11,481.27
Taxes - CPA	$1,150.00
Transfer HSBC	$1,200.00
Travel	$76.26
Truck	$358.92
	$116,160.95