Once again I wonder if I'm actually the right one did I withdrawal because of me that I withdraw because of her trying to protect myself bored I don't know what what I'm not sure and then that before to reconcile how do I not go back to that attitude life

It seems like a which came first did I get into that way of being to Xscape I don't know the purpose why YB so closed how do you not go back into that state how do you remain open overtime